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  • Writer's picturePray Jani

God Dammit, Just Wish Me “Happy Birthday” Correctly

What is your first birthday? Is it the day you were born or is it the day, one year after you were born?

While this might sound like a silly question, I have reasons to believe that it is the latter.

Birthdays today are as irrelevant as they can get, and it is perhaps in the meaning we give to them.

Let me start off by explaining the origin, obviously, that will give you a good foundation to believe what I have to say.

It was over 4k years ago that the concept of a birthday came into being. Which means, Jesus too celebrated his birthday.

Contrary to the popular belief that the Pagens started the tradition, birthday celebrations started off from Egypt.

It was when a king died on the day he was born, was when his staunch followers believed that his way of ruling should be remembered for centuries.

Let’s go a bit in the details. In the Egyptian civilization, when a king succeeded the throne, he burnt down all the discoveries, traditions, methods, literally every trace if the predecessor, and introduce an all new start to the civilization.

However, it was since this “great king” that this tradition of burning down faced an opposition.

His followers planned a movement to thank the king for his method of ruling over the people.

While I still don’t remember the name of this king, he sure as hell changed the way Egypt treated their deceased kings.

A new tradition was born from it, that every time a king passed away, they’d uphold his contributions.

The entire tradition involved the people ‘thanking” the kings for their contribution made by him, between the two successive birthdays. (Perhaps this became their financial year).

However, the world has changed the interpretation of tradition. It is now more on the lines of “congratulating” the person for surviving another year in this hell-hole apparently.

Getting back to the point here, logically when you’re born there is literally zero contributions you’ve made to the world.

So technically you’re barely eligible for a birthday celebration. I mean, what will you be thanked for?

If going by the contemporary interpretation, again, you haven’t survived a day, let alone a year, to be eligible for the birthday.

So what is a birthday really? Is it just you getting older and wiser? I have pondered over this topic a lot longer than I should.

I believe that if it’s your birthday, everyone you know, or who knows you, must thank you for whatever good you have done to them.

This world is anyway too harsh on people, where you’re corrected at every step of your life.

It’s probably because it requires the least amount of efforts to criticize someone.

It would be nice if instead of congratulating the person for baring with you, you thank them for what good they’ve done.

I mean, if ancient Egyptians could do it, why can’t you?

So in my conclusion, an newborn infant has absolutely no rights celebrating their birthday.

Be worthy enough for this auspicious ceremony before you ask for a gift.

And god dammit, just wish me “Happy Birthday” correctly from now onwards. It’s on the first of May.

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